Tuesday, December 29, 2009

This is SNOW much fun!




Wednesday, December 16, 2009

3 Years

Three years ago today, I married my wonderful husband.  We had known each other since third grade, been dating since 12th grade, and had been engaged for a year and half when we finally walked down the aisle at a beautiful little country church.  (You ever hear the song "Where I'm From" by Jason Michael Carrol?  You should! It's very much "us," except he wasn't a quarterback and I certainly wasn't the homecoming queen.)  We were surrounded by A LOT of family and friends and the ceremony was performed by my dad.  It was a very memorable and beautiful day.  We still get compliments about our wedding and reception!

But, I didn't come here to brag about how awesome our wedding was.  (Although it was!)  I came here to post an open letter to my husband.  Feel free to look in.

My Dearest Love,

Can you believe it's been three years?  Three years since I cried like an idiot when we saw each other for the first time in our wedding attire; three years since swore I was done crying, only to cry my fool head off in the nursery for no reason at all; three years since I saw you at the other end of the aisle and it was all I could do to not run to you; three years since I went through pediatric heart defects in my head to keep myself from crying during the ceremony;  three years since our first dance as a married couple; three years since we started sharing a home and a bed.  Three years! I certainly can't wrap my mind around it.

I remember that day, but it went so fast that it seems like only snippets here and there.  I remember being so happy and thinking nothing could top the feeling of that day.  Nothing could top the love I had for you.  But I was wrong.  Boy, was I wrong!  Because, when I woke up the next day, and saw you sleeping next to me, I realized that I loved you even more in that moment than I did the second we were pronounced husband and wife.  Then, you know what happened?  Life crept in, and I realized that I loved you more and more with each passing moment.  When we shared our first Christmas morning together a mere 9 days after we wed, I thought that I couldn't top the love I was feeling for you.  When we got lost in Eden Prairie, I thought, "I can never love him more than I do right now."  When we saw the 2 pink lines on that pregnancy test, and saw the joy in your eyes, I was convinced that my heart would burst from the love I was feeling for you.  When that second line disappeared a few days later, and you held me while I wept, my heart was still overflowing with love for you.  As we've struggled through 3 years of infertility and it's associated ups and downs, you've boggled my mind with my ever-increasing love for you.  When I see the godly man that you are in everything you do, my love grows.  But none of that can compare to the feeling I get when I see you with our son.  Whether you're playing video games together or building a fort or reading a book, I see you with him and my heart somehow finds somewhere else to put the love I have for you.  I don't know how it's possible, but I love you more in this second than I did even when you looked me in the eyes and said, "I do!"

I pray that, as the years go by, we'll grow more and more in love with each other and with the Lord.  Without Him, we both know we wouldn't be where we are today.    I thank you for showing me exactly how Christ loves the church.  I know you are pleasing to Him.

I love you so much, Sweetie!  Happy Anniversary!

Friday, December 11, 2009

A Christmas Collage

A little photoshop fun for your Friday!  (Click it so you can see the whole thing.)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

True Confessions

Rest assured that when it looks like this outside...

It looks like this inside...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

An Award...

...but not one of those cute blog-reader-nominated ones.  This one is self-awarded.  I win the "World's Worst Blogger" award.  I know, big shocker.  I don't know what's up with me lately.  I guess there's just not a lot going on, so I don't have anything blog-worthy to talk about.  I did schedule my appointment with the RE (thanks to those of you who reminded me), so January 14th, I'll be making the trek to Iowa City. 

Nick and I decided that, in lieu of actual gifts for our anniversary, Christmas, and his birthday, we'd take a trip to Chicago on the train for 2 nights.  All the important things are booked already: train tickets, hotel, and Blue Man Group tickets.  Other than that, we're kind of going to fly by the seat of our pants.  One of my good online friends is going to be in Chicago the same days, so we're going to meet and do some Michigan Avenue/Watertower Place shopping and do lunch.  Oh yeah!  We're all super-excited!

Nick's been working a lot.  In addition to his 40 hour week at his real job, he does freelance stuff on the side.  He got embroiled in a project that is taking longer than anyone guessed it would, so he's been working non-stop it seems.  I'm praying that it'll wind down soon, so he'll be able to enjoy his Christmas break (since he is a U of I employee, he gets off Christmas Eve through the 4th of January!  That's nice work if you can get it!).  I've been busy buying his stocking stuffers, as we decided to go ahead with stockings so we'd have something to open Christmas morning.  Hopefully, he'll like them!  (I'd tell you what they are, but he's one of my readers, and I don't want to spoil it!)

We're in the middle of a winter storm, here.  I love winter, but only when I get to stay home.  But, as has been the case with pretty much every winter storm in the last 5 years, I have to drive to work tonight.  That's right, I have to borrow my grandpa's truck to drive to the hospital for my 11-7 shift tonight (and tomorrow!).  Joy.  These flipping storms NEVER hit when I can just enjoy family time.  Instead I get the joy of risking my life (and someone's new vehicle) so I can go to work.  Add to that that I live literally in the middle of nowhere, and I've come to the conclusion that adult life sucks.

While I'm complaining, I'd like to ask if anyone has ever noticed that pregnancy announcements come in threes?  They say that about death, too.  The most recent three in my life all became known on facebook within 48 hours of each other.  If it weren't so depressing, it would almost be comical.  Don't get me wrong, I am SUPER happy for all 3 of these couples.  They're doing it right, and they'll make great parents!  But, it's so easy to get into the "what about me?" cycle.  Whether it's "we've been married longer, why can't that be us?" or "They already have kids, why can't we spread some fertility around here?!?" (That sounds messy), I can always think of some reason why I "deserve it" more than they do. 

The fact is, though, that that is wrong of me.  But I don't know how to change it.  How to do I fix that my gut reaction to someone's pregnancy announcement is self-pity? While I outwardly congratulate them and ask all the right questions, inwardly I'm dying a little inside.  It's a little better with people who I know also struggle with infertility, as they've been where I am and I hope people will be happy for us if it ever happens.  But, I still find myself playing the "they've only been trying for 2 years, and we're a week away from our 3 year mark!" card.  I'm seriously seeking advice here, as I really would like to get over it already.

I like how I always claim to have nothing to blog about, then my blog posts are a million hours long. haha  Awesome.