Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Update

Ah...the obligatory "So Much for That Cycle" post.  Although, it did end with some amusement...and if it had been a tv show or a movie, I would have laughed.  Being as it is my life, all it got was a sarcastic chuckle. 

It went down something like this:

Everyone in the world who knew the situation: When are you going to test?
Me: Well, since I don't really know when or if I ovulated, I'm thinking of just waiting it out until my period shows up.
Everyone else: Oh.  Well, what cycle day are you on?
Me: Um...*counts using a calendar* 30something
Everyone: Oh!  You should totally test!  I bet you're pregnant.
Me: Yeah.  Doubt it.

Finally, I decided I'd test on CD 35.  So, last Friday morning, I pee in the cup (because I'm not coordinated enough to pee on the actual stick) and dip it.  Then, guess what?  Blood.  The pee was quite literally still wet on the stick and my period started.  What are the odds?  I want my $8 back. 

(On a side note, seeing the blood actually helped my reaction to the BFN.  I don't know why.)

So, a spur of the moment trip to Iowa City was in order for a baseline ultrasound.  Nick called in "taking my wife to the doctor" and we headed out.  I was a little worried that with my reaction to the meds last cycle, I'd have some cysts and we'd have to take a cycle off, but everything was fine.  I charmed the ultrasound tech and student with my humor and wit, we had a few laughs about my stupid left ovary and I went to see the nurse.

At this point in the story, I learn something about reproductive endocrinology that every doctor, nurse and physician's assistant has failed to mention to me.  After 3-4 "combo" cycles (meaning a combination of pills and injections, i.e. femara and follistim) your chances of pregnancy actually decrease!  Guess what cycle this is for us on our combo?  6!  6!  Granted, they mentioned IVF to me at the beginning of my 4th cycle, but it was mentioned in passing like "hey, you might want to start thinking about this."  No one ever said to me, "Did you know that from here on out, your (already small) chances of getting pregnant are going to become even smaller?"  I might have liked to have been informed of that even before we started!  I would have done fewer timed cycles and more IUIs.  I would have already moved on to IVF perhaps and we wouldn't be having this conversation right now!  ARGH!

Anyway, this was going to be our last cycle before moving on anyway, so I'm not too concerned about it ruining my plans.  We've started (or continued) our talks about IVF and it all seems so surreal.  Call me naive, but I never really pictured us getting this far.  I imagined much less intervention to be required, but obviously my imagination is far more grand than actual life.  The fact that, in a few months I could be blogging about an egg retrieval, daily calls about our embryos, and embryo transfers is comepletely strange to me.  Part of me also feels bad that I've kind of resigned myself to this cycle not working.  I kind of wish, if they weren't going to tell me at the get-go about my chances decreasing, they hadn't told me at all.  Now I just feel like the whole thing is hopeless.  *sigh*

So, I've started my femara and Thursday I start my follistim.  I go Monday afternoon for my CD 11 monitoring.  This whole cycle is further complicated by the fact that they're closed Memorial Day weekend.  So, we have to get our IUI in no later than the 27th, as they're closed Saturday, Sunday and Monday.  (I've got to get myself a job like that!)  Hopefully, the timing will all work out alright.

Sorry I've been so boring on here recently.  I feel like I'm just on repeat: period started, insemination, BFN.  Wash.  Rinse.  Repeat.  I sincerely hope that changes soon.

4 comments:

Sass May 17, 2011 at 12:37 AM  

I do too sweets. I do too.

*hugs*
xoxo

Alex May 17, 2011 at 1:46 PM  

Sorry about the last cycle not working. And for your period to start right as you POAS - ugh!!! Hoping things change for you soon...

Kim May 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM  

I have had many "so much for that cycle" posts... and we are just beginning our 5th injectable IUI cycle after a nearly year long break from meds. If only it were as easy as everyone around us thinks. I wish you all the best and hope you prove the decreasing odds wrong!

lowfatlady May 28, 2011 at 7:55 AM  

I'm sorry that af showed up and what they told you made you lose hope on this current cycle. don't give up, I'm hoping for you!