At some point between our last ultrasound and the one we had today, the baby stopped growing. He/She only measured 7w5d and there was no heartbeat. We are trying to decide whether to go ahead with a D+C or wait it out.
Oh God, Krystal, I am so sorry! I know there are not word to make it better. Please know that you, Nick and Asher are in our thoughts and if there is anything at all I can do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know.
Oh so sorry! Keiko sent me here from her Twitter account to send yo some love. I too lost my baby...unfortunately my body wouldn't let it go. We had a d&c around 14 weeks. Just take your time making your decision and give yourself enough time to say goodbyes to your baby while he/she is still in your belly. My regret was scheduling it so close to finding out we lost our baby...the day after. I would take my time if I could do it over again.
My personal blog is http://launderlife.wordpress.com. My archives have posts about my loss if you feel like searching.
Keiko sent me here from twitter...I just wanted to say how sorry I am and how I wish I could *hug* you in real life. I am so sorry you are having to go through this... *huge hugs*
I'm so very sorry for your loss - oh this is terrible! I had the same thing last week, and the next few days are going to be horrible for you, I'm sure. Just know that all of us out here are here for you as you go through this. So very sorry - sending you a hug.
Alex directed me to your site and I feel so horrible about what you have endured...If there was a way to make things better, I totally would...Just know that there is a huge community out here who is sorry to hear about your loss and I hope that you can do what is right for YOU! Take care of yourself.
Krystal, you asked me why I chose to do the D&C. It was a tough decision. At first I was petrified of doing any kind of surgery, especially as I've never had any. So I told the doc that I wanted to wait to miscarry naturally or perhaps take medication to speed it along. But he told me that I should wait a day to make a decision. In retrospect, he clearly didn't think I should do it naturally. So I did a bunch of research, talked to different people, and later that day I decided to do the D&C for a number of reasons. The first was that I just wanted it over. I read and heard from my doc that it could take up to 4-6 weeks until I would miscarry, and I just couldn't imagine waiting, walking around with a dead baby inside of me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to start the "getting better" process until the miscarriage was over, and I couldn't imagine putting my life on hold. Also, I didn't really trust my body to do what it's supposed to do. I think that's why a lot of women don't do a D&C - they want their body to handle it, to trust their body to resolve the pregnancy. I've lost a lot of trust in my body over the last year, and I don't know that my body really knows what it's doing!
It gave me some comfort also that overall, I think the D&C is less painful than miscarrying naturally. I've heard stories of women going through it at home, and it's real contractions, without anything more than some painkillers. Now the D&C isn't without pain - it really wasn't that bad until this Monday - 5 days after the D&C. I think my body finally figured out that it wasn't pregnant. And so I had some contractions, and the bleeding increased. And it sucked - it really did. But I think that what I went through was easier than some of the miscarriage stories I've heard.
In retrospect, I'm glad I did the D&C. I was able to have a few really really bad days. And this week, I'm better. I'm not great - I think it will be awhile until I describe myself as that - but the D&C allowed me to quickly start the process of grieving, and trying to move on.
I hope this helps. If you would like to talk further, please email your phone number to me at adventuresofalex @ gmail . com (no spaces) and I would be happy to talk to you. Nobody can make this decision but you, but I found it helped to have as much information as I could before I did. Hugs to you, sweetie!!!
I just found your blog, and I'm so sorry for the circumstances. I found out on the exact same day as you did that my baby had died at 7w6d. I was also 10w4d at the time.
I decided on a D&C because of all the reasons Alex mentioned above. I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks in January, and it was extremely painful. Because this baby was gestationally "older" and bigger, I knew I couldn't go throught that again at home on my own.
The best part of the D&C is that I don't remember any of it. There has been cramping and bleeding afterward, but nothing like it was the first time around (naturally).
I wish you peace with whatever decision you come to. This is a terrible place to be in, and my heart breaks for you.
My name is Krystal. My husband, Nick, and I are in our mid-twenties. We have been friends since 3rd grade, "together" since 12th grade, and married since December 16, 2006.
We suffer from female factor infertility, and have been trying to build our family in various ways since getting married. We had a miscarriage in June 2010, and have gone through multiple medicated cycles since then with no luck.
We have a 4-year-old son, Asher, whom we adopted through the foster care system in March 2010. He is a joy to us. We also have 3 cats: Lily, Mia and Latte. We love to watch movies, play video games and board games and hang out together.
Most importantly, we love the Lord. We know that we wouldn't be who we are without His saving Grace. He sent His Son to die for us, even though we are full of sin. It is only through Him we can be Redeemed! Praise God!
This blog is basically an amalgamation of all aspects of our life: infertility, child-rearing, foster-care adoption, etc. Any given post can be about anything! Enjoy this look into our lives!
20 comments:
Oh God, Krystal, I am so sorry! I know there are not word to make it better. Please know that you, Nick and Asher are in our thoughts and if there is anything at all I can do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can hold your heart in peace right now as you decide what to do next. Thinking of you.
Oh no, Krystal! I am so, so sorry! *hugs and thinking of you*
OH no!!! I am SO sorry. I Pray for ease in your decision making, and peace in your heart :(
Oh so sorry! Keiko sent me here from her Twitter account to send yo some love. I too lost my baby...unfortunately my body wouldn't let it go. We had a d&c around 14 weeks. Just take your time making your decision and give yourself enough time to say goodbyes to your baby while he/she is still in your belly. My regret was scheduling it so close to finding out we lost our baby...the day after. I would take my time if I could do it over again.
My personal blog is http://launderlife.wordpress.com. My archives have posts about my loss if you feel like searching.
I am so so sorry for your loss.
How cruel for you and your family. I am so sorry about your loss. I am so sorry.
Keiko sent me here from twitter...I just wanted to say how sorry I am and how I wish I could *hug* you in real life. I am so sorry you are having to go through this... *huge hugs*
I'm so very sorry for your loss - oh this is terrible! I had the same thing last week, and the next few days are going to be horrible for you, I'm sure. Just know that all of us out here are here for you as you go through this. So very sorry - sending you a hug.
Krystal...
I am so so so sad to hear this news. May God grant you peace. ((HUGS))
I'm so sorry for your loss. It just isn't fair.
(Stopping by from Alex's blog)
Alex directed me to your site and I feel so horrible about what you have endured...If there was a way to make things better, I totally would...Just know that there is a huge community out here who is sorry to hear about your loss and I hope that you can do what is right for YOU! Take care of yourself.
Oh, Krystal, I'm so sorry...
Krystal, you asked me why I chose to do the D&C. It was a tough decision. At first I was petrified of doing any kind of surgery, especially as I've never had any. So I told the doc that I wanted to wait to miscarry naturally or perhaps take medication to speed it along. But he told me that I should wait a day to make a decision. In retrospect, he clearly didn't think I should do it naturally. So I did a bunch of research, talked to different people, and later that day I decided to do the D&C for a number of reasons. The first was that I just wanted it over. I read and heard from my doc that it could take up to 4-6 weeks until I would miscarry, and I just couldn't imagine waiting, walking around with a dead baby inside of me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to start the "getting better" process until the miscarriage was over, and I couldn't imagine putting my life on hold. Also, I didn't really trust my body to do what it's supposed to do. I think that's why a lot of women don't do a D&C - they want their body to handle it, to trust their body to resolve the pregnancy. I've lost a lot of trust in my body over the last year, and I don't know that my body really knows what it's doing!
It gave me some comfort also that overall, I think the D&C is less painful than miscarrying naturally. I've heard stories of women going through it at home, and it's real contractions, without anything more than some painkillers. Now the D&C isn't without pain - it really wasn't that bad until this Monday - 5 days after the D&C. I think my body finally figured out that it wasn't pregnant. And so I had some contractions, and the bleeding increased. And it sucked - it really did. But I think that what I went through was easier than some of the miscarriage stories I've heard.
In retrospect, I'm glad I did the D&C. I was able to have a few really really bad days. And this week, I'm better. I'm not great - I think it will be awhile until I describe myself as that - but the D&C allowed me to quickly start the process of grieving, and trying to move on.
I hope this helps. If you would like to talk further, please email your phone number to me at adventuresofalex @ gmail . com (no spaces) and I would be happy to talk to you. Nobody can make this decision but you, but I found it helped to have as much information as I could before I did. Hugs to you, sweetie!!!
I am very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family!
Sending love and warm thoughts...
I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh Krystal I am so so so sorry.
I can only imagine how much your heart is hurting right now.
Sending you all of my love.
xxxx
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Fran
I'm so very sorry to hear this.
You're in my thoughts.
Krystal,
I just found your blog, and I'm so sorry for the circumstances. I found out on the exact same day as you did that my baby had died at 7w6d. I was also 10w4d at the time.
I decided on a D&C because of all the reasons Alex mentioned above. I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks in January, and it was extremely painful. Because this baby was gestationally "older" and bigger, I knew I couldn't go throught that again at home on my own.
The best part of the D&C is that I don't remember any of it. There has been cramping and bleeding afterward, but nothing like it was the first time around (naturally).
I wish you peace with whatever decision you come to. This is a terrible place to be in, and my heart breaks for you.
If you need to talk, I'm here.
Hugs,
Jo
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