Thursday, June 24, 2010

Loss

At some point between our last ultrasound and the one we had today, the baby stopped growing.  He/She only measured 7w5d and there was no heartbeat.  We are trying to decide whether to go ahead with a D+C or wait it out.

20 comments:

lifefamilysanity June 24, 2010 at 1:14 PM  

Oh God, Krystal, I am so sorry! I know there are not word to make it better. Please know that you, Nick and Asher are in our thoughts and if there is anything at all I can do for you, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Keiko June 24, 2010 at 2:10 PM  

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you can hold your heart in peace right now as you decide what to do next. Thinking of you.

Marla Z June 24, 2010 at 2:29 PM  

Oh no, Krystal! I am so, so sorry! *hugs and thinking of you*

stina978 June 24, 2010 at 2:29 PM  

OH no!!! I am SO sorry. I Pray for ease in your decision making, and peace in your heart :(

autonomousblogger June 24, 2010 at 2:32 PM  

Oh so sorry! Keiko sent me here from her Twitter account to send yo some love. I too lost my baby...unfortunately my body wouldn't let it go. We had a d&c around 14 weeks. Just take your time making your decision and give yourself enough time to say goodbyes to your baby while he/she is still in your belly. My regret was scheduling it so close to finding out we lost our baby...the day after. I would take my time if I could do it over again.

My personal blog is http://launderlife.wordpress.com. My archives have posts about my loss if you feel like searching.

I am so so sorry for your loss.

Roccie June 24, 2010 at 2:33 PM  

How cruel for you and your family. I am so sorry about your loss. I am so sorry.

Tillie June 24, 2010 at 2:35 PM  

Keiko sent me here from twitter...I just wanted to say how sorry I am and how I wish I could *hug* you in real life. I am so sorry you are having to go through this... *huge hugs*

Alex June 24, 2010 at 3:45 PM  

I'm so very sorry for your loss - oh this is terrible! I had the same thing last week, and the next few days are going to be horrible for you, I'm sure. Just know that all of us out here are here for you as you go through this. So very sorry - sending you a hug.

The Flukens June 24, 2010 at 5:12 PM  

Krystal...
I am so so so sad to hear this news. May God grant you peace. ((HUGS))

Kelly June 24, 2010 at 5:12 PM  

I'm so sorry for your loss. It just isn't fair.

(Stopping by from Alex's blog)

micgruber June 24, 2010 at 5:15 PM  

Alex directed me to your site and I feel so horrible about what you have endured...If there was a way to make things better, I totally would...Just know that there is a huge community out here who is sorry to hear about your loss and I hope that you can do what is right for YOU! Take care of yourself.

T Lee June 24, 2010 at 5:36 PM  

Oh, Krystal, I'm so sorry...

Alex June 24, 2010 at 5:57 PM  

Krystal, you asked me why I chose to do the D&C. It was a tough decision. At first I was petrified of doing any kind of surgery, especially as I've never had any. So I told the doc that I wanted to wait to miscarry naturally or perhaps take medication to speed it along. But he told me that I should wait a day to make a decision. In retrospect, he clearly didn't think I should do it naturally. So I did a bunch of research, talked to different people, and later that day I decided to do the D&C for a number of reasons. The first was that I just wanted it over. I read and heard from my doc that it could take up to 4-6 weeks until I would miscarry, and I just couldn't imagine waiting, walking around with a dead baby inside of me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to start the "getting better" process until the miscarriage was over, and I couldn't imagine putting my life on hold. Also, I didn't really trust my body to do what it's supposed to do. I think that's why a lot of women don't do a D&C - they want their body to handle it, to trust their body to resolve the pregnancy. I've lost a lot of trust in my body over the last year, and I don't know that my body really knows what it's doing!

It gave me some comfort also that overall, I think the D&C is less painful than miscarrying naturally. I've heard stories of women going through it at home, and it's real contractions, without anything more than some painkillers. Now the D&C isn't without pain - it really wasn't that bad until this Monday - 5 days after the D&C. I think my body finally figured out that it wasn't pregnant. And so I had some contractions, and the bleeding increased. And it sucked - it really did. But I think that what I went through was easier than some of the miscarriage stories I've heard.

In retrospect, I'm glad I did the D&C. I was able to have a few really really bad days. And this week, I'm better. I'm not great - I think it will be awhile until I describe myself as that - but the D&C allowed me to quickly start the process of grieving, and trying to move on.

I hope this helps. If you would like to talk further, please email your phone number to me at adventuresofalex @ gmail . com (no spaces) and I would be happy to talk to you. Nobody can make this decision but you, but I found it helped to have as much information as I could before I did. Hugs to you, sweetie!!!

Laura June 24, 2010 at 6:29 PM  

I am very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and your family!

Michele June 24, 2010 at 6:43 PM  

Sending love and warm thoughts...

lowfatlady June 24, 2010 at 8:59 PM  

I am so sorry for your loss.

Mrs Bee June 24, 2010 at 9:24 PM  

Oh Krystal I am so so so sorry.

I can only imagine how much your heart is hurting right now.

Sending you all of my love.

xxxx

Fran June 25, 2010 at 4:27 AM  

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Much love, Fran

Conceptionally Challenged June 25, 2010 at 8:03 AM  

I'm so very sorry to hear this.
You're in my thoughts.

Jo June 25, 2010 at 10:14 AM  

Krystal,

I just found your blog, and I'm so sorry for the circumstances. I found out on the exact same day as you did that my baby had died at 7w6d. I was also 10w4d at the time.

I decided on a D&C because of all the reasons Alex mentioned above. I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks in January, and it was extremely painful. Because this baby was gestationally "older" and bigger, I knew I couldn't go throught that again at home on my own.

The best part of the D&C is that I don't remember any of it. There has been cramping and bleeding afterward, but nothing like it was the first time around (naturally).

I wish you peace with whatever decision you come to. This is a terrible place to be in, and my heart breaks for you.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

Hugs,
Jo