Blogiversary and 100th Post

Wow! I can't believe it's been a year since I started this blog. It didn't start out as an infertility blog- just a place to blog about my family and our adoption process. However, I quickly decided to "come out," and I've found so many friends through the process. I think of all the IF blogs I read and I'm thankful for all of those girls-- I can't even imagine not having your support through the last year. That goes for both my "virtual" friends and my "real life" ones. You all know who you are(I'd hate to mention people and forget someone)!

In the last year my family has been through a lot! Our adoption was finally finalized! We've lost weight together! We've gotten ourselves knocked up! LOL! My sincere prayer is that, next year, when I write my second blogiversary post, I have an almost 4 year old and a 4 month old (or two!). I pray that I'll continue to get to know my bloggy friends and that they'll all get their much-deserved babies!

Thanks for being here for me/us throughout this past year!

Tired!

Man, am I tired! I literally slept all day yesterday because of work (I worked monday and tuesday nights and was supposed to work wednesday night, too, but didn't end up having to), THEN I slept pretty much all night! Haha! I was awake for like 7 hours before going back to bed!

Other than that, I've noticed a low- level quease the last couple of days. Its not enough to keep me from eating or anything, but its there, nonetheless.

We're super excited for our ultrasound in exactly a week! I've been looking at 7w4d ultrasounds online, because that's how far along we'll be. I so look forward to (hopefully) seeing the little blob and his/her heartbeat!

I'm still pretty nervous that something will be wrong when they look, but I'm trying to push it out of my mind. Its just the devil trying to steal my joy, and I'm against it!

Tomorrow's my blogiversary and I hope to post my 100th post! See ya then!

I'm Still Here!

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I promise.  There's just not a lot to talk about.  I'm just battling with the calendar as it moves slower and slower toward our ultrasound on the third.  One second I'm super excited for it, and the next I'm terrified that something will be wrong or that I've imagined the whole thing.  I keep having to remind myself it's all true.  I keep telling myself, "You had 3 sticks with 2 lines and one that said 'pregnant.'  You had two great betas.  You didn't dream it."  Too bad my self doesn't listen very well.  Stupid, self.

As far as symptoms go, I haven't had much.  I'm feeling more fatigued, I believe, but sometimes it's hard to tell if it's baby-related or work shift-related (if you've ever worked nights, you can understand).  I also have some cramps occasionally.  I told my mom today that sometimes they hurt BAD!  They only last a few seconds, but it usually makes me pause and takes my breath away for a second.  I'm assuming that it's just my uterus stretching and my little blackberry settling in.  I have had no spotting at all *knocks wood,* and believe me, I always inspect the TP very well! haha 

I joined Baby Center online the other day, and got my little timeline thingy all set up with both Asher and the new baby on there.  It's cool to be able to see what is going on with baby and to see what Asher should be up to any given week.  I mostly use it for looking up baby names, as we're I'm obsessed with them!  They have a cool tool where you can look up suggested sibling names based on your existing child's name.  One of the suggestions for Asher?  Sheniqua!  LOL  I nearly died when I read that!  I've never actually known anyone named Sheniqua! 

Anyway, yesterday, I looked at the communities they have and joined the January 2011 group.  I didn't post anything or comment but I looked around.  It kind of freaked me out that a lot of them were saying they felt sick already, and I'm not.  However, my mom assures me that she never really felt sick until 8 weeks with any of her pregnancies and she never felt sick at all with me!  (I told her it's because I'm awesome.)  I've had an occasional bout of nausea the last week or so, but it could just be wishful thinking. 

My favorite part of pregnancy so far?  Nick laying his head on my belly and talking to the baby.  He gives him/her pep talks about growing and tells them to be nice to me.  It's about the cutest thing ever.  I can't wait until we can feel the baby move externally!

That's about it.  It's been pretty hot the past couple of days and I became very glad that I won't have to be ginormously pregnant in the middle of the summer.  All in all, a Winter pregnancy will rock, I think.  Also, my first blog-iversary is the 29th!  Yay, me! 

Nervous

So, I'm pretty much a nervous wreck.  I'm much calmer than I was before I got my two betas drawn, but I'm still quite freaked out by the whole thing.  I keep thinking, "What if I'm wandering around assuming all is fine, and I get dealt a crushing blow at my 7w4d ultrasound?"  I don't know if I can handle it.  I keep thinking, "What if there's TWO babies in there?!"  I'll freak out!  I'll be super happy, of course, but fairly freaked out nonetheless.  Basically, my mind is a constant tumult of "what if..." questions.  It's all I can do to stop myself from testing nonstop (but, quite frankly, the lack of a bathroom at my house is a major deterrant).  My problem is that we tried to hard to get pregnant with this child, and I love him or her so much already, that the idea of something going wrong is just heart breaking.

I know that I'm probably freaking myself out for no reason whatsoever.  I know that God alone created this child and He is all-knowing and all-powerful.  I know that He only gives us what we can handle.  I know that I can't fix anything by worrying even for a second.  I know all these things, but I feel like I'm needing a constant reminder about it.  I'm catching myself freaking out over whatever and having to say, "Chill out!"  I just pray that God will do whatever He sees fit with this pregnancy (and that it's also what I want. LOL), and that He will give me the strength to handle whatever is thrown at us. 

My most recent freak-out-worthy thing (because I know you want to know): what I can and can't eat.  Obviously, I cut out caffeine as soon as I saw that second line.  But, what about when it hits Fall and we go to the apple orchard?  Can I have apple cider?  What about soft serve ice cream?  I love me some DQ blizzards!  Lunchmeat?  I love Subway!  Granted, I'd happily give up these items for this child that I have prayed so hard for, but so many of these things just sound totally off the wall!  My mom had never even heard of the lunchmeat/soft serve thing, and she's been pregnant as recently as 5 years ago!  Sheesh!  So, that's what I'm freaking out about recently.  I think I ate a blizzard during my two week wait, and I know I ate at subway and got a sub from the deli case at walmart!  Ugh!

(This whole thing makes Nick and me think of the scene from Knocked Up where he says, "I'm gonna be sitting on the trampoline smoking crack, and you won't have anything to do!"  lol)

Also, I know I shoudln't be dieting, per se, while I'm pregnant, but, being a fluffy gal naturally, how much do I really need to gain.  Can I, like, not gain any weight?  I worked so hard to take it off, I will have a panic attack if I see the number go back up!  Haha!  I plan to keep track of WW points still and go to the YMCA or walk, so hopefully it will all be good.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.  I have no doubt you'll hear more as the weeks and months progress.

Gorgeous Blogger Award

One of my favorite bloggers, Mrs. Bee, nominated me for an award.  I'm such a sucker for these things, they're so super fun!  Thanks so much, Sass!

Here's the rules:

Accept and thank the person who gave it to you!
List 5 things about yourself
List 5 additional things you DON'T like
Then pick 5 people to give this lovely award to!


Lets see if I can think of 5 NEW things...


1.  I love country music.  Brad Paisley is my favorite.  (I listen to other types, too, but country is my fav.)
2.  I currently do not have a usable bathroom at my house.  It's in the process of being renovated, which is awesome, but really inconvenient.
3.  I picked out paint this morning for said bathroom.  It's called "Cat's Eye Green."  It's 2 shades lighter than the color of our towels, so I think it will look cool.
4.  The US Census man sat in my car and made me do my census form (and my grandparent's form!) today.  We never received one, and they never received my grandparent's.
5.  I ate a taco salad-ish thing for lunch, and now I can't stop burping red onion.


5 Things I Hate...


1.  Asian Beetles.  In the spring and fall, they're EVERYWHERE at my house.  It's awful.
2.  My mom and dad's patriot crab that escapes all the time.  Seriously, he almost got out the door once!
3.  Not having a bathroom to use.
4.  Unexpected and unneeded tears.
5.  Waiting 3 weeks for an ultrasound!


5 Bloggers...(These will probably be repeats)...
1. Brenda because she's one of my bestiest besties! (Feel free to not link back to me if you repost this.  lol)
2. Jess because I can't wait to "meet" miss Maddie!
3. Jamie because she is literally one of the most gorgeous women I know in real life.  (You probably shouldn't link back to me, either. haha  Wouldn't want my secrets getting out.)
4. Wishing4One because I like to think of us drinking (decaf) coffee in Egypt together.
5. Alisha because I dig her blogging addiction thoroughly, and her kids are so stinking cute.

Second Beta

226!

That's double and then some!

Yay!

Ultrasound is scheduled for June 3.  How will I make it that long?  It's all I can do to not POAS every day so I can be sure it's all still good.

It's still a secret until after the ultrasound, though, so keep your traps shut!

So far, all 3 sets of our parents know, along with my best friend and my sister.  But they've all been sworn to secrecy, as well.

Seriously, I'm going to need sedated between now and June 3!

Here's a graph I found online.  I don't know what it means, but it's cool. lol

First Beta

Status has it's privileges!  I got my blood drawn at work this evening, and I already have my result! 

84 at 14dpo!

Anything over 25 is pregnant, and the extensive googling that my mom and I have done leads me to believe this is a pretty good number.  I imagine my RE's office will be calling me tomorrow to tell me, and I will tell them I already know. lol Hopefully they'll give me an order for another beta Wednesday, as I want to see if it doubles! 

EEEK!

Super excited!

I'm SO praying that it doubles.  I love this baby so much already.

Again, if you know me in real life, don't say a thing to anyone (or mention it on facebook!)!

Today's Test

Here are my tests from today.  The top is a Walmart brand, the bottom is First Response (the same as yesterday's).  We are 13dpo/15dpt.

And here is yesterday's as a reminder:

Verdict?

Can you see it?  It's faint, but it's there, I think.  It wouldn't still be trigger now, would it?!?!?!?  12dpo?  EEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

One rule:  if you know me in real life, don't tell ANYONE!!!!!  Immediate family will be informed soon should it be true.

I'm so stinking nervous!

Prayer Request

Hey, my lovelies, I'm in the midst of a hardcore clean-fest right now, so I'll make this quick.

I found out today that Nick's coworker's wife had her twins today, and the little boy passed away.  I don't know the details, as of yet, as to what exactly happened, but I know they could use all the prayers they can get.  The little girl is doing fine, as is Mom--or at least as fine as she can be.  From what I've gathered, all was fine throughout the pregnancy (she was term for twins.  35ish weeks, I think.), so this came as quite a shock to everyone.

I, myself, have only met the wife once, but I've met Nick's friend multiple times and my heart just breaks for them.  They also struggled to get pregnant, so it is a particularly hard blow.  Prayers for everyone involved would be much appreciated.

I've got to get back to my cleaning, but I'm having a hard time focusing, myself. 

We Love May!

Hair cuts!

What a cheese-head!

Barefoot and (almost) naked!

The joy of living in the middle of nowhere!

Someone didn't want to go inside to take a shower!

(By the way, the trigger is mostly out of my system.  There was a VERY faint line still present, but it was super faint.)

Half Way

This has officially been the longest 2 week wait, EVER!  It's not like I'm going stir crazy to test or anything, it's just that the last week has seemed about 3 months long.  We're halfway through, though.  Next Monday, I get my beta drawn.  I'm going to get it drawn when I go to work that evening, so I imagine I won't get the results until Tuesday.  But, I plan to test at home before then. 

That brings me to a question: when should I test to see if the trigger's out of my system?  Today has been 9 days since I took the trigger, but I'm only 7dpo (days post ovulation, to you lay-people).  Should I test tomorrow, safe in the knowledge that 8dpo is too early to get a legit positive?  That's what I'm leaning towards. 

Then, when should I test for real?  My thought was Sunday (13dpo), since I will have slept all night and therefore have more hormones built up.  But, it's Mother's Day.  That means it will be either really awesome if I get a positive, or really terrible when it's negative.  I'm legitimately afraid that I'll be a blubbering mess at church (which doesn't look very good coming from the pastor's family's pew).  Tell me what to do, people!  Better yet, just guarantee me a positive!

Obligatory symptom check (even though everything's probably from my prometrium suppositories):

• Boobs of Fury
• Slight twinges/crampies occasionally
• Emotional (I teared up watching a Hallmark commercial a little while ago)